Friday, September 12, 2008

So many thoughts.... little clarity. I hate it when this happens. My mind starts racing, and then just speeds up! Pretty soon, I'm traveling at mach speed down a road of jumbled thoughts usually leading nowhere.

Struggles are part of every life. Compared to most people, my struggles are minor! Almost microscopic! But that's not what my mind is telling me. It wants me to believe that this is as good as it will ever get. It wants me to believe that this is all I'm capable of. It wants me to believe that this is all too big and too complicated and too much to sort through.

What if I really believed all that chatter? What if I didn't know how to reprogram or turn off the volume on those negative voices? What if I embraced that defeat? What might that look like? Let's see...depression, anxiety, poor health, low energy, physical illness...not a very attractive outlook.

Something scary happens to me when I start giving an audience to the trash talk. I start to withdraw, because I'm "not supposed to have these struggles". Yep, another nasty little voice that wants me to use my struggles as evidence that I have no credibility in my job as I show other people how to change the recordings in their heads. How can I help anybody else? I cane even help myself!

Deep in my heart, I know what I'm capable of. I have a clear picture there of what I want. That's why I keep fighting. That's why I refuse to believe the talk. I know that I am more powerful than negativity. I have incredible tools, incredible opportunities, and a desire to get past this cycle of donward thinking.

Clearly, I have a lot of work to do. Thank God for another day to get started on it.
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