Structure

I'm not sure how much I love summer vacation! I know kids love it -- no more school, no more books, no more blah-blah-blah...and speaking of teachers, I'm sure they're big fans of summer, too! And who can blame them?! In fact, there's probably a long list of people who love summer vacation! So I wonder what's wrong with me that I should NOT love it so much!

It's actually not summer itself. I have nothing against the season -- except that it's pretty blazing hot here in Texas! And no, it's NOT a dry heat!! I love going swimming, going to amusement parks, doing all those summer-type activities. What I don't love, though, is the magnifying glass that gets put on all the holes in my structure and schedule. Yeah...that's not good.

I'm admittedly not the most structured person. I sure want to be! I want to be one of those "buttoned up" people who seem to have everything under control. I'm convinced that they're out there...they're the people who get things done, get cards and letters out on time, and get their Christmas gifts wrapped well in advance of Christmas Eve!

I, on the other hand, tend to lean in the direction of what I like to call "flexibility". Which is just a nicer word for your basic train wreck. I have a lot of projects I've started, a lot of cards I've meant to send out, a lot of forgotten phone calls. It's not pretty, honestly. I do what I can to deflect the spotlight from myself...I can easily find ways to blame my kids, my husband, my job, my dog...who or whatever I can find. Truth is, though, that I'm the only one to blame. I can choose how to show up in my life, every day. And it's all about priorities -- what is the MOST IMPORTANT THING to me.

In exploring that topic more fully, I realize that it's time to begin to identify more clearly what's most important to me overall instead of day by day or minute by minute. Sure it's fun to be "in the moment", to kind of go with the flow. I get to take advantage of activities that I wouldn't otherwise get to do. Most of those have to do with people, which is by FAR my greatest "weakness" -- any opportunity I get to socialize and spend time with people I enjoy, I'm gonna have a tough time turning down!

The challenge comes when it's time to be held accountable for the things I say I'm going to get done. I'm usually behind in those things, not quite following through, not quite being as effective as I'd like to be. This is nothing new, mind you. Nothing I haven't known about myself for a very long time! It's just that, during the summer, with all the opportunities to take my kids and go do fun stuff with other people with kids, it seems to get worse. Not cool.

I know the answer is more structure. And my stomach starts to turn with the mere mention of the word! To me it speaks to missed opportunities, mundane-ness, even boredom. Obviously, I need to redefine this word!! Because it can also be an opportunity for project completion, business growth, satisfaction of actually having the job done and done well. When I look at it that way, structure becomes something exciting, something rewarding, something worth the sacrifice.

I'm still working on selling that redefinition to my sub-conscious -- it's gonna take a couple of days, at least! I know it's worth the energy, so I'll make a run at it! At the very least, maybe I'll get my kids to be at a reasonable time, and I'll manage to get a blog entry done sometime before midnight! That, in itself, would be a VAST improvement!

Ouch!

It's been such a fun week with my family! We've been to Six Flags, been out for ice cream, been to a water park...it's been a jam-packed few days of summer vacation! And we still have 9 weeks left! (Hang on a second...I need to sit down!)


My current dilemma is that I'm burned. As in SUNburned. According to some, it's a pretty bad burn, so I should probably be concerned about it. I spent several hours at a water park today, and although I did put on some sunscreen, I will admit that I probably could have used more!


I'm not thrilled with my over-sunning today. I've been down this road before, and it's not a whole lot of fun! It's actually more than a bit painful! I have enough trouble sleeping without yet another distraction...after all, I have two kids! My sleep is only as sacred as they allow it to be! But that's another subject...

I'm going to go out on a limb here and state boldly that I expect my back and shoulders to be 100% fine. I expect to sleep just fine, to feel great, and to have a really awesome tan! I've been reading a lot about self-healing -- the body's natural ability to heal itself, which gets bogged down in negative thought processes. So I'm going to test the theories! I will not give this "skin irritation" any energy. I will not give it special attention! I will focus on the fact that I feel great, my skin is fine, and this is no big deal. I recognize that somewhere, way back in the back of my mind, there's a little voice wanting to plant seeds of doubt. I'm going to put that voice in a closet and lock the door! And I'm going to turn up the volume on the voices that tell me I'm fine!

I'll let you know what my results are! For now, I'm tired, and I'm going to go get some rest!