The Value of Nothing

Yesterday, I enjoyed a day of VERY little activity! Well, let me clarify that...after I caught my 6am flight, changed planes in Phoenix, got home, and had some lunch with my family, THEN I enjoyed the very little activity part! Just laying around, watching my kids play, dozing off a time or two, watching cartoons (one of my favorite pasttimes!)...definitely a good day for me!

Here's the problem...I have trouble with intentional inactivity! I don't do "still" well! Not that I'm generally super-productive -- believe me, I can kill time with the best of 'em! In my mind, though, to INTENTIONALLY do nothing is something I struggle with. I feel guilty, especially since I always have a very long list of things to be done. I know people who can just curl up with a book and leave everything behind for hours on end...I am not one of those people!!

I recognize that there can be tremendous value in doing nothing -- it can be regenerating, renewing, invigorating. And yet...I struggle. I tell myself I should be getting something done...laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing -- SOMEthing!! And "reading a book", to me, doesn't count as "something". Honestly, it's sometimes a little frustrating to be me!!

The problem is my perfectionist tendencies. I heard some interesting information recently about perfectionists that, sadly, described me all too well!! Seems that most of the time, perfectionists, since they don't do anything unless it'll be perfect, end up being surrounded by chaos, and therefore are really more IMperfectionists than perfectionists! OUCH. Which is why my new favorite phrase is "Imperfect action trumps perfect INaction EVERY TIME." True and TRUE!!

So...how do I reconcile this? Yesterday, I did a pretty good job of extending some grace to myself. Then this morning, my mind started in on me..."you shouldn't have wasted so much time, you really should have gotten something done, what were you thinking..." Pesky mind. So unappreciative of my need for rest! I had a busy weekend and a 6am flight -- gimme a break already!

I managed to quiet my inner nag with promises of super-poductivity for today. As of now, though, with about 18 minutes left, I have to 'fess up to the fact that my intentions far out-performed my reality! That should cetainly be great fodder for the voices in my head!

Lucky for me, I know that my mind just on it's own doesn't get the final say...I decide what I listen to, even from myself! And I will stand firm in my own defense, both yesterday and today, and remind myself that there's nothing I can do about yesterday, or even today, for that matter! I can only do whatever I choose to do for tomorrow, which will NOT be nothing, no matter how much fun that can be!

I WILL work on allowing myself more intentional down-time. Regeneration is important for long-term performance! Which is why "Nothing" really does have value...no matter what my mind says!